Hi all. Guess what.

( I'm engaged! )

You cannot fight the television.

Song: Television, Television
Artist: OK Go
Source: The Sopranos
Characters: Ensemble

Download: HERE (DivX, 22 MB).

This vid premiered at Club Vivid this year. Thanks to absolutedestiny and vagabondage for the enthusiasm!

( Lyrics )

Enjoy! Feedback appreciated.

Oh, man. It's October. I realized just last night that I haven't even posted my VividCon vids. There is no excuse, but, see, I didn't even go to VVC this year, and not going to THE BEST THING EVER CREATED BY HUMANS is the SADDEST THING AMONG ALL OF THE WORLD'S SAD THINGS. And I think it threw me off! I lost my sense of time and reality and stuff! That is my excuse and I'm sticking to it.

So here it is. Yay!

A new empire in rags.

Song: My Rights Versus Yours
Artist: The New Pornographers
Source: Slings and Arrows
Characters: Ensemble
Range: All of Season 1

Download: HERE (DivX, 24.7 MB).

This vid premiered at the Sense of Play themed show (VJ, renenet). Thanks to absolutedestiny, renenet, and sweetestdrain for awesome beta and support. I miss you all.

( Lyrics )

Have fun, and as always, feedback is greatly appreciated.

PS: Thanks for all the birthday wishes yesterday! I am officially old, but happy! Whee!

Well, the people and the dog are moved. Our stuff isn't here yet but I really hope it'll come in a few days! And we should have internet by tomorrow. Or else I shall stalk this Caribou.

It took me exactly 12 hours to drive us, with 2 stops. Not bad, but I didn't think I was gonna make it because, of course, my insomnia hit big time the night before and I got no sleep whatsoever. But I survived! I must've been running on adrenaline and anticipation and OMG NEW LIFE. The dog did get sick, though, but only for a little bit in the beginning and then he was cool.

I love our new place. It's just so awesome and spacious and we keep finding more character and YAY. Can't wait to arrange everything and get settled. Wheee!! ATLANTA!!

So... I won't be able to attend VividCon this year. I have officially cancelled my attending membership. It's so hard to believe. It's the first VVC I have to miss since 2004, since I first started vidding. But my new appointment starts August 11th and classes start August 18th. I have orientations and faculty meetings all of that first week until the Friday of VVC, and even though I plan to be as prepared as I can be for the start of the semester, I fully expect lots of last-minute things to pop up. Everyone says that the first few years of being on tenure-track is absolutely insane, and I really believe them. There's no such thing as being prepared. But still... I guess I just want to feel like I'm starting on the right foot.

The moving preparations are going pretty well. We found the perfect place in Atlanta. It's in our favorite neighborhood and it has everything we need and want. We then had to find new tenants to take over the rest of our current lease. But after the initial manic rush to make the place presentable, it was easy. The first people to see this place wanted it, and they just signed the lease. We have now researched moving companies and decided on one that seems really good. You never know with movers, but I think we did pretty well. We've also sold, donated, and thrown out so much of our stuff. Our storage is completely empty. We've even started packing! The move is two weeks away, and I think we'll be okay.

I am so going to miss VividCon this year. Every vid show, every panel, every drop of glitter, and every Joxer step. Have a drink for me.

I'm coming up for air (after, geez, a year?) to let you know that I've accepted an academic job in Atlanta and will be moving at the end of the summer. It was a long and exhausting process of interviews, nervous waiting, and negotiations, but I'm very, very pleased with how things turned out. It's a great fit for me in terms of the match between my background, interests, and the search itself. I liked everything I learned about the department and the college during my visit, and was particularly impressed with the support systems that they have for faculty--especially for research, but also for teaching and career progression in general. The doctoral students I met seemed dedicated and fun, and the working atmosphere felt lively and comfortable.

I honestly can't wait to start.

I'm very sad to be leaving Chicago and my people. But (a) I'm pretending that sweetestdrain will attend graduate school in Atlanta next year so we can star in Pie and Trout: The Atlanta Adventures, and (2) get this: part of my startup package includes paid trips to Chicago in the first year! So I fully expect to still see people and play Guitar Hero! (I love you, jarrow.)

And there's always VividCon. I secured my spot for this year at 11:01 am on registration day, which totally rocked because as you know, that crazy, crazy thing sold out in a record 6 minutes. It has become this humongous, magical thing and I'm just proud to be a tiny part of the community. I'm actually not sure if I can make it this year (fall semester at the new job starts soon after), but I'm holding on to my spot until I know that I absolutely have to give it up. It hurts too much not to be able to attend. So yes, I'll be there! For now.

With the job thing resolved, vidding again feels less impossible these days. I've realized that my love for it will never go away no matter what else is going on in life. I did make something a few months ago that I've just been sitting on. Who knows what will happen, but I'm optimistic.

I've been keeping up with all of you the best I can. Many of you are going through major changes, so please know that you have my support. I'm just reorienting at this point, but hope to crawl back up soon and eventually find myself a good balance between work and play. :)

On this day 3 years ago, I posted my first vid ever. I think it's a good time to introspect and (finally) answer Lum's vidding questions!

( What does vidding feed into you? )

VividCon 2007 registration opens in 2 hours!!

Oh god. How did time go by so fast?

Also, hi. I haven't posted in over 3 months, and I don't know how that happened, either. But I'm doing well!

Um, what's been going on...

- I got into a car accident and it could've been bad (it certainly was for the other car and driver), but I was fine. Everything's settled and life moves on.

- There was a health scare involving my father at home and I never felt so scared. But he's now home from the hospital and recovering.

- Work has been stressful and exciting at the same time. Mostly it's been demanding a lot of Overcoming Fear out of me, but for the first time, I'm not running away (yet).

- My puppy's 6 months now and I'm still in denial that he no longer fits in my boyfriend's hand. This remains my favorite picture of him (the puppy, not the boyfriend).

- Speaking of the BF, though -- things are so good, I sometimes can't believe it. We talk a lot about pursuing things together, both personally and professionally, and the compatibility is unbelievable and we can't get enough of each other and just -- I got lucky with this one.

That's it! I gotta run off to brunch if I want to make it in time for VividCon Season kickoff, OMG!! VVC 2006 sold out in about 5 hours, so. Aaaaah!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my one and only trout, sweetestdrain!! You know how much I think you're incredible and amazing and I love you to death?? Yeah, you know. HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY, SWEETHEART!!

In other news, went to see Ok Go last night and OMG FUCKING AWESOME. The venue (which was just a few blocks from me! Chicago :X:X:X) wasn't very big, but they took it seriously. They opened with "The House Wins" which normally isn't a favorite of mine, but somehow it was exponentially more fun live. Towards the middle of the show, the band moved to the center of the audience and we got to see them play "A Million Ways" and "What To Do" only 5 feet away from us, on an adorable trampoline-like thing. Other awesome performances include, well, just about everything -- "Television Television," "A Good Idea At The Time," "It's A Disaster," "Invincible"... just, wheee!! They played "Do What You Want" during encore and I thought that was the last, until suddenly they're like, we're not quite done. They then switched the (totally neat) pattern-flipping background to a picture of their BACKYARD, dropped their instruments, and danced the "A Million Ways" routine!

It was so satisfying.

Just before the band played, though, this dude came up on stage and said that he was thankful that the band was letting him do this. He called his girlfriend on stage, professed his love to her, went down on his knee and proposed to her. I was all, aww, what a sweet thing and an awesome event to do this at. But then THE GIRL SHOOK HER HEAD AND RAN DOWN THE STAIRS AND ALL THE WAY OUTSIDE. Dude chased her down and they disappeared.

I can't decide if it's an act, which B seems to think it was. If it were an act, wouldn't they have made it clearer instead of leaving people like me all TRAUMATIZED, mere seconds before the show??

Anyway. In puppy news, the puppy is perfect. ::overwhelmed with love::

Since my last birthday, I have:

- Decided not to leave the country for good.
- Ended an eight-year relationship and an engagement.
- Gotten my PhD.
- Obtained permission to stay in the US.
- Turned down a good job offer at home country.
- Found an even more fitting job in the city.
- Started dating someone new.
- Fallen in love.
- Moved to a new place and made it home.

- Never felt happier for as long as I can remember.


Thank you for the birthday wishes. It's a really special one, this time.


Next up:
- Show off the fabulous birthday clock from absolutedestiny!
- GET A PUPPY, OMG.

In order to protect delicate vidder identities, the amazing genius dualbunny did uh, THIS.

Please report back when you have resumed breathing.

This vid is secretly wearing pantyhose.

Title: Repeat After Me
Artist: Ted Raimi
Source: due South, with additional footage from Queer as Folk: US

Download: HERE (DivX, 25.1 MB).

sweetestdrain and I made this for the VividCon Challenge this year, themed "remix". Many thanks to pipsqueaky, for squeeing in secret with us, for betaing, and for helping make Club Vivid opening an insane amount of fun. We lovingly dedicate this vid to you, Pipsy.

( Because one needs lyrics for these things. )

Long live the Joxer dance!!

Nothing we can't hold, nothing we can't be.

Song: Ragged Ass Road
Artist: Tom Cochrane
Source: Prison Break
Characters: Michael, Lincoln

Download: HERE (DivX, 21.2 MB).

This is my VividCon Premieres vid this year. Much love and gratitude to sweetestdrain for sending me the song and watching the show so she could see what I was flailing about, for believing that yes, their story can be told despite the fact that the season was still airing and I had to restructure the entire thing mid-way. To sisabet for helpful feedback and contagious enthusiasm over Michael's toe-cutting, to renenet and elynross for amazing, amazing beta genius and priceless encouragement, and to dualbunny for helping resolve narrative questions at the end. I am the luckiest person in the world.

( Lyrics )


Enjoy, and as always, feedback is greatly appreciated.

It costs nothing but change.

Song: The Church of What's Happening Now
Artist: Sia
Source: Maria Full of Grace

Download: HERE (DivX, 28 MB).

This is my VividCon Nearly New vid this year. Thanks to sweetestdrain for betaing and incredible support throughout, including watching the movie with me (sniff!). To sisabet for editing suggestions, to sdwolfpup for stylistic inspiration and for believing in the vid, and to renenet for encouragement, and for reminding me that Maria has an appointment that she will keep.

( Lyrics )


Enjoy, and as always, feedback is greatly appreciated.

ETA: There was a glitch such that this vid isn't on the VVC DVD set. Probably my fault in filling out the form. Oops!

I'm back from VividCon and it was fantastic.

I haven't posted in a while, and so much has happened in my life in the last month. But it's all very good and exciting and mostly new and I've just been all "OMG how am I so happy it can't be true?!!"

I was in that state going into the con this year, and god, VVC. Like my life couldn't get any better! I can't believe how well everything went. Those concom llama buttons read "superhuman" in my book. Much love to you all! And, yeah -- throughout the con I got to spend lots of time with my favorite people and meeting awesome new ones and was unstressed about my vids and feeling very comfortable about everything. It was perfect.

I premiered 2 solo vids and 2 collaborations. I hope to post at least the solo ones this week.

I'm too caffeine-deprived to say much more right now, but OMG pipsqueaky you were so missed! The Joxer dance was not the same without you. Next year, not only will you have to resume your super fabulous role of leading the Club Vivid room to Supernatural Delight, you'll have to sing it, sing it, sing it at Karaoke!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, pipsqueaky!!

You are awesome and wonderful and I am *so* happy that you made the move to Chicago and that you're enjoying your new life and that everything is going very very well!

VividCon this year won't be the same without you. But the local peeps and I get to see you whenever we want and maybe we can reenact the whole conference JUST FOR YOU! Especially the Joxer dance!

Have a fabulous day, sweetie. Much love!

My dear sweetestdrain arrived in town this afternoon, and we went to celebrate graduation and new Chicago beginnings with pipsqueaky and just_eunice and merryish and tzikeh and vagabondage and shrift. There were massive amounts of crack wings, and tzikeh ordered this v. v. special chocolate cake with black cherry-infused buttercream frosting and filling and fresh bananas. Look at my icon OMG, for that is what the cake looked like! It's the cutest cake I'd ever seen!

We also had champagne and strawberries and Eddie Izzard, but OMG, the CAKE. It's Beezilla over Chicago.

Things of the good:

- Sharing a cranberry orange muffin with my mother. She leaves in 7 hours and and it's been a lovely visit overall.
- Graduation last Friday. Everything went really smoothly -- no rain, charming speaker, no tripping on stage... But most of all I was happy, and I am very thankful for my friends.
- renenet's fondness of my dissertation. Just, OMG.
- I finished a vid -- beta-approved and everything! So I'll probably have something new at VividCon after all.
- Rum raisin ice cream.
- Discovering that Teavana just opened at a local mall. They have lots and lots of new flavors, whee!
- I'll get to see sweetestdrain in three days! I am so spoiled and excited and YAY. We'll be hanging out with Chicago peeps! And going to Pride!
- sisabet and I have decided that after I move to a new apartment, I am so totally totally getting Siberian Husky puppies. Yes, plural -- because I must have two. I will name them Oz and Hyde and sisabet will come visit just to meet them. It's a deal like the eternity of VividCon.


Things of the meep:

- My mother is really unhappy with my staying in the country. It's just different when you see each other in person. I mean, she understands, but I didn't expect the acceptance part to be so... heavy. She even thinks she's "lost" me. I'm gonna have to do more to make this easier for her. And I will.


Things of the cross-your-fingers:

- As I mentioned in my last life update post, this last-minute decision to stay in the country left me feeling so totally unprepared for the next step. But I've been pursuing a couple of openings, both for the kind of work that is just So Freakin' Ideal for me right now. Today I got one of the positions (yay! job!), and I'm waiting on the other. This second one also seems promising, so I *may* have options, OMG. I'm putting this under cross-your-fingers because there's a lot to think about and even if I only have the one option, it's a scary change and I'll need your good thoughts, my friends.


That is all! Just... I can't wait for my life to stabilize.


* f1renze is reading Working Visa info?
f1renze: The H-1B is a nonimmigrant classification used by an alien who will be employed temporarily in a specialty occupation or as a fashion model of distinguished merit and ability.
f1renze: ...FASHION MODEL.
f1renze: i am grouped with fashion model aliens.
renenet: of distinguished merit and ability
renenet: it's the supermodel clause
* f1renze cracks up
sisabet: you totally qualify
* renenet vaguely wonders why supermodel had to be specially noted
renenet: doesn't it count as "specialty occupation"
sweetestdrain: bwah
renenet: because I kind of think it does
sweetestdrain: and what if you're a fashion model *without* merit?
sisabet: do fashion models with merits wear the beta honor chord?
renenet: they wear the beta honor glitter face powder, liz

::has nightmares::

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, dualbunny! You're one of the coolest, kindest, smartest, most talented and insightful people I know, and this combined awesomeness continues to amaze me.

I hope you have tons of fun today. So much love and adoration to you!!

"Aww... anal rape is not fun." -- sweetestdrain, watching Prison Break 1x19.

Oh, my god. The last 2+ weeks have been a lot more stress and drama than I ever thought I could handle in an entire lifetime. But it's over now. And not only did I survive, I survived. And right now, all I wanna do is take a moment to appreciate the good stuff.

Because I just turned in the final -- revised, approved, final -- version of my dissertation. This feels more real to me than passing the defense, because everything's now official: I really have the Ph.D.

There's so much I want to say, and those words will come, but right now I'm a useless ball of RELIEF and I need to recover first. But yes.

I did it. It is done.


Note to self: sweetestdrain and nerdanel are your guardian angels, and Matt Pond PA's "It Is Safe" took you to the homestretch. Remember this.

Oh -- also remember that this is the year your school starts doing online diss submissions, and that this makes you feel so Next Generation, yo.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, sockkpuppett!! Your deadly combination of brilliance, creativity, wisdom, and strength continues to inspire, and I feel so lucky to have you as a friend.

I hope you spoil yourself today!

I just came home to a basket of v. beautiful flowers at my door! Thank you so much, killabeez! I LOVE them. And aww -- the note says "You are the queen of everything!" Wah! ::smooches you HARD::

PS: Dear you all -- I got your comments and IMs and a most glorious sangria post and wow -- I am extremely touched and grateful. Right now I'm just so overwhelmed with many many things, I feel like I might break into 576 million pieces. But I'm trying to work things out, and that's what matters right now. I will get to each of you and do a real update as soon as things stabilize. Sorry for sucking, OMG. I adore you all so much.

Dear world,

Today I defended my dissertation.

And I passed. I have a LOT of work, still -- the inevitable revisions -- and I hope I can get them done in the 10 days I have allocated before the deadline.

But yes. I have to go now -- people are about to start the celebrations. (OMG, so far there's flowers and candy and champagne and at least 2 outings planned!)

But this is it.

I have a Ph.D.

Love,

Flo

This is old news to those following at home, but I'm reporting anyway, if for no other reason than to keep my life events chronicled.

( So. )

sweetestdrain! Your "care package for Flo's next few weeks" just arrived!!

OMG OMG LET US SEE WHAT'S IN THE BOX:

- An Angel action figure with the Wolfram & Hart wall and his #1 Boss mug... filled with blood!

Your post-it note: "Think not of how weird Angel's face looks, but instead of how many incredibly inappropriate positions you can put him in w/ the Spike figure! Also - omg THE BOX. Because they'll all float on, all right!"

- A Spike action figure with the giant shanshu-fight cross, the shanshu cup, a Kiss the Librarian mug also filled with blood, and... a cat? Huh!

"Spike! Spike Spike Spike Spike... He has a KITTEN. How fantastic, yo. And a big cross to whup Angel with. And his Kiss the Librarian mug. And and and. Um. Spike!"

( more! )

OMG insomniac. Entertain me?

Gacked from spaggel.

If you had me alone, locked up in your house for twenty-four hours and I had to do whatever you wanted me to, what would you have me do? All comments will be permanently screened because it's a secret. Then repost this in your LJ. You might be surprised with the responses you get.

It's that time again! VividCon Auction 2006 is officially open for business!! Between now and April 10, you are ALL invited to bid and get your very own vidder. It is for a good cause OMG IT IS FOR VIVIDCON!!

Okay so I know it is overwhelming so here is what you need to do:

1. Look at the list of vidders.
2. Salivate.
3. Salivate more. I mean, have you SEEN the list? There's a absolutedestiny and a andrastewhite and a killabeez and a laurashapiro and a sdwolfpup and a sweetestdrain!! Seriously - it doesn't get better than this, y'all. Just - good luck deciding, is all. Hee!
4. Open your wallet.
5. Forget this week's groceries. Just try. Who needs to eat anyway? Vids are MUCH more filling and nutritious. Just ask sisabet.
6. Start bidding to win!!

If that looks exciting to you then let me tell you something: IT GETS BETTER. Because THEN you get to actually tell the vidder what to vid. I mean - yeah. I'll just be over here, avoiding your exploding head. ::smiles sweetly::

So go! Go now. Visit often. Don't forget to breathe and HAVE FUN!!


This post is brought to you by OMG I'm so glad I did it last year and now I can just point and laugh cheer you all on!

sweetestdrain! Your payback's got nothing on my payback.

( long rambly chat... avoid if you're eating )

heresluck has made a Fraser/RayK vid (!!) as a super-sekrit present for renenet and sisabet, and.

OMG.

::will never stop crying::

I know I haven't updated in many years and I am so behind on everything and I really suck and "apologies, etcetera", but. OMG.

Doctor Who. Hello, new fandom. I love you so much it scares me.

That is all.

anoel asked for a commentary on "Space Dementia", a collaboration I did with sweetestdrain.

( we'll destroy this world for you )

Dear nerdanel,

Happy faux 21st!

Didn't think it was possible, but I've only adored you more in the past year. And these days I feel like we're at the same place in many ways, and I can't be more grateful to have you to share things with.

I hope you have a marvelous day, with as much lightness and fun as possible. We have to find a way to meet up before I go. Maybe I'll come visit! When that beautiful cottage in California is all yours...

After reading my commentary, dualbunny is unable to picture renenet without a cape and theme music.

To further demonstrate her genius... ( KitNo Commentary: Part Deux (no, really) )

heresluck asked about "Killing in the Name of".

The idea of writing a commentary on this vid has been so overwhelming to me for many reasons:

- I started it over a year ago, and the process, off and on, took forever (6 months), so I can't remember many things.
- It's the most difficult vid I've ever made, so the making is hard to articulate.
- It's the most complex vid I've ever made, so the vid itself is not easy to describe.
- Like I said here, this vid is crucial for my development, and I'm in a different place right now. So I would have to put myself back in that place and report from there.

But this meme made me finally sit down and do it. Yay!

( some of those that work forces / are the same that burn crosses )

sdwolfpup asked for a commentary on "The Frug", especially on my working through issues with Jaye's story and the emotional part of the vid-making.

( I cannot do the Smurf )

dualbunny, linzeestyle, burntspaghetti, and mcfeste asked for a commentary on "Deja Vu".


( she keeps looking for patterns / and the world just happens )